Updated: May 8, 2019
The proverbs said this, “Train up a child in the way he should go, when he is old he will not depart from it, [teaching him to seek God’s wisdom and will for his abilities and talents].”
To train is a verb, and when used with an object means to develop, to make characteristics and thoughts habitual behavior. Life experiences shift habitual behavior or morals and values taught as a child and by the time the child becomes an adult their form of discipline differs from their parents.
While waiting to pick up a meal, this woman walks in and sat next to me. She had third degree burnt marks on her face and arms. As I glanced at her, she seemed frustrated. I thought, “Hmm, let me asked her how is her day?” While pondering whether I should ask, these thoughts race through my mind… “Hmm, she looks like she is upset about something... maybe if I say hi she may be brief or not speak.” Hmm! “My approach should be delicate, as I had heard the stares and disrespect many burnt victims are dealt on a daily basis.”
I pressed pass my thoughts that seem to be dictating me to not say anything and said, “Hi, How are you today.” She looked at me with frustration in her eyes and said, “I’m good.”
The greetings quickly shifted to “Girl, my grand-kids are so bad. They done broke one of my beds jumping on it. I don’t understand these kids’ today…and they are older kids…And, when I told my daughter, she looked at me and shrub her shoulders like there is nothing I can do. My parents would have never let me get by with this…jumping on beds! They would have beaten my butt.” Shaking her head back and forth she said, “These kids today are not being trained.”
It was obvious she didn’t allow her daughter to be as destructive as her grand-kids.
Why does this generation have different opinions about raising kids?
Society has learned that childhood environment plays a significant role in their behavior as an adult. Yet during adolescence, teens are subject to re-frame their way of thinking, as they are influenced by their peer group. I’ve heard teens say, “I not going to raise their children like I was raised,” particularly the form of discipline used on them.
The shift in behavior during adolescence sometimes startles the parents who get frustrated, throw their hands up, and although the teen have not reached the age of maturity, allow the teen to make life decisions. The lack of structure during adolescence makes the teen vulnerable to the statistic of society.
The modern day styles of discipline have influenced young parents to lessen physical discipline. The suggested discipline is time-out. Society believes separating a child from negativity or unacceptable behavior redirects the child from negative to positive behavior. This form of training can work, but it requires consistency, which some parent’s lack. But this style may not work in all situations.
My granddaughter attended a preschool that allowed each child to make a decision whether they wanted to join group reading or not. While some students sat and listen, others students in the same classroom were allowed to run and play. The Director believes children should be given this choice. How disruptive is that!
The ironic part, the children that choose to run and play were labeled as having a behavioral problem and referred to the state for evaluation. Does this sound familiar? Is this a setup…ADHD ADD, when simply classroom rules implemented by the teacher and reinforced by the parent could avoid it?
My granddaughter was relocated to another preschool with rules and guidance as she is being taught at home. The new school provided a curriculum that prepares her for kindergarten, which the other school had none.
The societal systematic shift in discipline has affected the home, as parents become dependent on this system to dictate the right and wrong ways to raise their children. This has also affected Christian homes, as many parents negate the biblical principles of discipline.
The wisdom is this; know that each child is different, what works for one child might may not work for the other.
“The rod and reproof (godly instruction) give wisdom, But a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother,” (Proverbs 29:15).
Correction is love, NOT ABUSE.