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Traditional relationships, swingers, I’m confused...

Traditional relationships are not popular. Multiple swingers are the trend. But there are folks who are in search for traditional love, between man and woman.


The confusion, who is a swinger and who is a traditionalist? It’s complicated.


Traditionalists seek another person to bring love and happiness in their life. They desire permanent or until death we depart relationships. I married believing it will last until death... but...


The social platform has become an icon for folks to share the person who they believe is their future companion.


Their connection with a new love is like being high, and the hype, acceptance, love, and emotional tingles seem everlasting.


The relationship status on social platforms changes from single or complicated to in a relationship or engaged. The visual statuses are flooded with pictures and captions that say, my forever love, blessed, my soul mate, or this is the best thing that ever happened to me.


Pictures of outings, vacations, amusements, and the big proposal visually solidifies the relationship is sealed.


A list of folks offer congratulations, and gif of happiness

This continues for months or a year or more until the relationship reverse... hurt and bitterness.


The relationship status change back to complicated, single, or left blank. All pictures of the inseparable pair are removed. The social platform is silent, and their peeps are afraid to ask what happened.


Hmm! So what happened?


Could your expectations have been challenged? Some folks, who are adamant about being in a relationship, know that person is not a fit, but choose to wait and anticipate their incompatibilities will mend.


Although it can happen, the degree of probability could be slim dependent on growth, maturity, and spiritual understanding or guidance.


Are you in a competitive relationship comparing it to parents, friends, or celebrities?


I’ve talk with many folks who search for a partner with characteristics like friends, parents, or their favorite celebrities. Although it is known that folks tend to connect to persons with similar characteristics as their parents. Hmm!


You think this might put a strain on the relationship? Most certainly! A true lover does not want to be in competition.


Competition becomes comparison rather than striving for harmonics that will establish common grounds of similarities and differences. What works for another relationship may not work for yours, different individuals, personalities, opinions...


If you are believers or partial believers, “What harmony can there be between Christ and Belial (Satan)? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?”

(2 Corinthians 6:15).


Environmental differences prep competitions and comparisons. Different environments, cultures, or sub-cultures that merge together with separate ideologies and opinions must endure hard work to mend a positive relationship.


Although it is ignored today, those who are believers or partial believers, the Bible says, “Do not be unequally bound together with unbelievers [do not make mismatched alliances with them, inconsistent with your faith]. For what partnership can righteousness have with lawlessness? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14).


Folks find reasons to justify unequally yoke relationships. Could this scripture be good readings for the unbeliever?


I’ve had conversations with folks who have said, “I know my partner doesn’t totally believe like I do, but we agree on some things. My partner is of a different faith, but... I’m Christian and my partner is Catholic, Muslim, new thought movement or believes in god.” You might want to question what God or god they are referring too.


These folks continue to say, “Many of today’s teachings accept all gods, it’s all about love... times have changed, God is inclusive to all faiths... If my partner believes in god, we are a fit.” Hmm?


Know the doctrine of one’s faith and make sure that person is practicing or attempting to practice from a sincere place.


At least if the belief system is the same or similar, spiritual guidance will establish honor and respect toward one another.


“What’s love got to do with it?” Yes, some folks are hurt from previous relationships and they say “what the heck, it’s not about love, but it’s about convenience.”

But wait! Convenience could lead to an effortless relationship. The relationship is based on conditions, and whoever fails to keep the requirement is ousted. The journey restarts, next person. These types of relationships recycle.


Meeting that right person is complicated, what should I do?


Research, research, and research, and remain opened minded. Meet their friends and interact at social events. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Don’t rush the relationship. Learn their family history. When a person make excuses about you meeting their family, or exemplifies a strong dislike toward their family, find out why, it could be a red flag.


Do they have goals? How are they with finances? Have they been in multiple relationships and why were the breakups? Are they comfortable sharing their social platform(s) with you?


Most importantly, fine a reasonable and legitimate sight and do a thorough background check, include those who profess Christianity. Do not commit until they have passed the test.


Don’t let emotions dictate, you will be blindsided and remain status quo, single, recycled, or complicated.


~SAR~




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