We need help... the pain, rage, and humiliation of incest
Amnon, David’s son was attracted to his half-sister Tamar. His infatuation made him sick as his sexual appetite drove him to make arrangements for her to come to his house. While lying in his bed pretending to be sick, he seduced her and forcefully raped her. The pain, rage, and humiliation taunted Tamar, while Amnon felt no shame, but made an effort to protect his image by asking her family to marry her, (II Samuel 13). Tamar family was devastated when they learned she was raped by her half brother.
Many folks speak out against incest, and others internalize it. Some seek to be healed, while others mask the pain.
There was a married mother raped by her father. She was over protected of her children. She spread her wings like an eagle as stated in Psalm 91:1, with an attempt to keep her children in her secret place. The difference is these children were not protected, as the pestilence disease continued to eat away her heart. She hid her pain, rage, and humiliation. Unbeknownst to the mother, while she believed they were protected under her wings; her children experienced the cyclonic grief of her pain.
She struggled to apply the moral ethics of Christian living. She taught her children the revenge of her pain, to bait, manipulate, conquer and destroy people that she believed were her enemies. Her nice manipulated ways enticed families in the congregation to join her family team.
She was a regular congregant, professed that she was a believer of Christ, and was filled with the Holy Spirit. She heard messages that God heals the brokenhearted, and forgives sin, but it didn’t seem to penetrate her pain, as she was bound by the cyclone of her pain… having difficulties overcoming the demons that had tormented her for years.
The struggles she suffered were transferred to her children and the vicious cycle was repeated. Raped, molestation, drugs and alcohol infiltrated her home. She praised God, shouted, attended bible study and her children were involved in various auxiliaries in the church. She had heard the scripture that “vengeance is mines saith the Lord,” but chose her revenge.
The sight of a family in the church that seemed intact forced her to reach out in kind jesters, giving food and gifts with hopes of acceptance. She invited these families to her home manipulating their trust. Although the pastor continued warning congregant to be careful whose homes their children visited, some ignored it.
Why did she struggle for years with her brokenness when God heals the brokenhearted? Did God allow the seed of her pain to take root in her children?
There is a song by William McDowell, “Don’t Mind Waiting,” this song is about how we must express our needs to the Lord and in desperation cry out to the Lord. The closer we feel His presence the louder we call Him. Desperation helps push us through the process of healing.
There was a father that had a son who self mutilated, and this father was desperate that his son be healed. When he approached Jesus, He rebuked the demon and the son was free. The father first took his son to the disciples for healing and they “were not able to heal him,” as they doubted if they had the power to heal. Jesus reprimanded his disciples and said this, “But this kind of demon does not go out except by prayer and fasting,” (Matthew 17:21)). When the father came in the presence of Jesus he spoke desperately.
Your inner struggles may not cause self mutilation as the lunatic son, but mental mutilation as another brother of Tamar when he heard that his sister was raped, and the mother who was raped by her father, which all situations are subject to the same outcome, pain. The key word to the song by William McDowell is desperation… getting to a point that you know a change must take place, and connecting to the most effective sources for healing, which includes God.
The story of Amnon and Tamar ended in murder, her brother who was also Amnon's brother murdered him.
The father, and son who was a lunatic was desperate and willing to do whatever it took to be healed. They sought and found the source, Jesus.
The mother who was raped remains in a position for complete healing, as God does heal a broken heart. The secret is desperation.